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My Sister

Posted by sarisha on August 11th, 2010

I am extremely blessed, besides having loving and caring parents, I also have a sister to turn to whether I am happy or in trouble.

Being the eldest child in our family, I was usually the one that had to listen to all the parenting advice and scolding before my sister was old enough to take a stand and fight for our rights. Although our relationship has been through a lot of ups and downs, now that we are both adults, I consider my sister to be one of the most thoughtful and intellgient individuals I know and consider her to be irreplaceable in my life.

Sometimes I travel back in time and remember with nostalgia those occasions that we felt compelled to fight over a doll or a dress, although we both knew that trouble was on its way since we were supposed to wash our hands, clean up and get ready to sit down at the dinner table.

Without hesitating and by being confident of her abilities and her willingness to experience the world, she was always the one that took the first step in everything we did. She excelled in her chosen field and become a young successful professional winning the Deans award at University. She was the first to get married and buy a house, and still keeps my parents happy with her life’s choices.

The reality is that our relationship has changed significantly over the years. At the beginning it was more or less similar to any other sibling relationship, although we were not jealous of each other, somehow we managed through similar experiences and common life goals to establish a very sincere and open channel of communication.

Maybe it seems too honest at times for me to handle with confidence, but the fact remains that I am grateful to have the opportunity of speaking with my sister whenever I please, to give her my advice when she asks for it and not to be afraid to raise an argument that might not find her in agreement after all she is still my sister.

Having a sister is one of those things in life that I cherish and consider myself extremely fortunate for being able to enjoy it. My sincere wish for both of us is to always be open, understand and respect our differences, learn from each others mistakes, and of course, increase the frequency of our visits to each another. One thing I miss terribly is her face. She is one of those people I know I can laugh with and cry in front of without later feeling embarrassed I did.

Having a sister is like having a best friend you can’t get rid of. You know whatever you do, they’ll still be there.

Superwoman!

Posted by sarisha on August 11th, 2010

Whilst growing up, I would always see my mum busy with household chores throughout the day. Despite her hectic and demanding schedule, she always ensured that my sister and I had our lunch after school. Apart from that it was only in the evenings when I got to feel her loving touch and noticed how tired she was and she always used to say “a woman’s work is never done”

In the past, that expression hardly carried any significance for me. However today I realize what she meant by “a woman’s work is never done“. Besides juggling my career, family, boyfriend, friends and other social responsibilities…. I too at times echo these often recurring words – and if you are a modern Indian woman reading this blog you will also share my sentiments

Yes a woman’s work is never done as the role of Indian women is countless! As a mother, wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, friend and colleague she has myriad roles to play. And with each role comes the great responsibility of making each and every individual happy. An Indian woman has to be a perfectionist in all that she does, whether it is looking after the children or maintaining a strong relationship with friends and family. In the 21st century she is superwoman, an earthly form of the celestial deity who does it all and does it right.

The popular phrase ‘working woman’ is just superfluous, since women are always working whether at home or in the office. Think of the average Indian homemaker – despite not going to office, she still has a lot of work to do and needs to take care of pertaining to the health and wellbeing of her family members and loved ones.

And what does she get in return??? Have you ever stopped to say just a Thank You to your mum or in fact any other home maker who takes care of your needs? Most likely the answer is no. Despite promises of gender equality and tall statements of equal distribution of household labour post marriage – most Indian women even today are caught up in the thankless vortex of household jobs. True! Her Work is never done!

Dressing for Success

Posted by sarisha on August 5th, 2010

Dressing up in your finery will not get you the job. However, if you want to have an upper hand over the others, the right dress is very important for the perfect interview. In fact, the way you dress is very much the same as the way you write the first line of your application form . It sets the tone which is always going to be significant.

It creates the first impression about you. So, make sure that you have dressed fittingly for your interview. Well, you may argue whether the outer appearance can always reflect the skills that you possess. True, but at the same time, your outer appearance does play a very vital role in reflecting the personality that you have! Remember the first impression can often be the last impression – so you need to put your best foot forward. Dressing well allows you to make a favourable and encouraging first impression.

Keep in mind dressing well does not always mean dressing expensive and you can look good even in simple clothes. What is important is that the clothes are neat, tidy and presentable. A decent dress improves the overall score for your personality.

Your taste, your style and your dress reflects your sincerity, your outlook and these are very important factors that the recruiters are keen to assess before hiring a person. Thus, chewing bubble-gum at the time of your interview may not impress the recruiters since it does not offer a positive impression about your sincerity. So, be careful to make the right appearance in the interview. It’s not only about the dress; it’s about the way you look.

Remember, the recruiters are always in a hurry when they have to recruit some people. Therefore, they don’t want to spend too much of time to check out the candidates thoroughly. So, you have very little chance to impress and influence them and you have to do this at the first go. So, dress well and go out to impress the interview board.

Moving out of home

Posted by sarisha on August 4th, 2010

There comes a time in your life when you feel that you are ready for independence and moving out of your parents’ house becomes a very attractive option. We all have been there before. You want your freedom, but don’t know how to get out of your parent’s house. Follow these steps for an easier solution.

Step 1
Action Plan. In order to move out, you really need to sit down and write out the reasons you feel it is time for you to go on your own and be independent. Write out concrete action steps that will help you in this process. Start with the small important things first, like where do you want to live, how much is your expenses going to be? Be realistic about your action steps, and take it one day at a time.
Step 2
Courage. It does take a lot of courage to finally decide to move out. Moving from being dependent on your parents for your primary source of income is a lot different than finally being on your own. So it does take a lot of willpower to make this transition and start taking responsibility for yourself as a mature adult.
Step 3
Just do it. When I first decided to move out, I had to just do it. It was more of an intuitive feeling, and I am glad that I moved out so I can mature and grow as an independent woman, not depending on my parents to always pay for my things. If you feel it is time to move forward with your life, just do it!

Women’s Day

Posted by sarisha on August 4th, 2010

South Africans would be celebrating woman’s day on August 9th and it is the time when we should pay homage to the women in our life.

A woman plays a plethora of roles in our lives as a sister, daughter, wife, mother, nurse and teacher to name a few. She does so with utmost care and affection without getting credit or notice. The Woman’s Day serves as a reminder to all of us about the importance of a woman in our lives and to value the contributions of a woman.

The day is celebrated globally with some countries declaring the day as a national holiday. Though, the day commemorates the story of everyday woman but the day brings together woman all across the globe and they celebrate it as a clan. There seems to be no linguistic, ethnic, cultural and economic boundary among women and they feel united on the day. The whole woman kinfolk is suffering at the hands of the patriarchal male dominated society across the world and they are protesting since time immemorial. People hardly take a notice of it or if they do notice the valor of a woman they snub or forget it soon.

A woman’s outcry of equal footing in the male dominated society is found many times with least result. A peace lover at heart, a woman has always longed for a peaceful society irrespective of their cast, creed, religion and nationality.

In South Africa, a woman is never believed to be at the same pedestal as a man but the times appear to have changed in recent years. The foray of women in various sectors in the past two decades is a good example to the fact. There are many women making their presence felt in various fields like sports, business or politics.

The woman of today is not restricted to home as a wife or mother but has entered into the corporate sector as a colleague also. She brings dedication to work with care and affection which adds dynamism to the ambience of workplace.

On the flip side, there seems to be rise in crimes against women at the workplaces with their modesty being offended many a times. People in general want to see woman in specific roles and they are not in any mood to welcome this healthy change which might be threatening to their machismo. It is also been said, though in hidden chambers, “Do not employ women”. The low figures of women employees holding senior positions (3 percent) and very low overall figures (5-6 percent) gives a clear picture of reality.

There are not many women who are able to hold their fort against the society and prefer to lead a quieter life and are thus dominated upon. A survey reveals that there has not been a drastic change in the way a young woman of 20 something leads her life in the past 20 years or so.

The emancipation of woman is primarily seen as:

1. A person who can smoke in full public view.
2. A person who can party hard.
3. A person who is comfortable in having drinks in public places.
4. A person who can use slang language as their male counterparts do.
5. An open minded person about their relationship.
6. A person who makes a first move in a relationship.
7. A person who shows Public Display of Affection more.

To be honest, these are definitely the signs of change but not the right ones. We would like to see a girl getting an equal opportunity as her brother, getting appropriate education to get a firm footing, representation in all the sectors equally, appreciating their talent as equals, stringent laws to protect the crime against women and their application as soon as possible.

Maybe the time has come for woman to lead from the front and show us the strength that she possesses. This might be the time for change, for a new woman leader to be a torch bearer

Grieving the Death of a Best Friend – My Dog

Posted by sarisha on July 4th, 2010

“It was JUST a dog” is something I have heard people say when someone they know has lost a pet. For many people though, myself definitely included, losing a beloved pet is like losing a member of my family. Since I was a little girl I’ve always had a natural affinity with animals in general. Just being around them has always made me feel happy and at ease. I’ve had quite a few dogs in my life over the years but the one that always comes to mind the most is my dog JoJo. It may sound silly, but in many ways we were kindred spirits

JoJo was so much more than just a dog…he was my best friend, brother, running partner, therapist…he was family to me. Joey was there by my side for the happiest times in my life and for the saddest times in my life. He knew everything about me…more than any person knows! He always seemed to know when I was feeling down and that just his presence would help to make me feel better. He was the absolute BEST listener! He never judged me and always made me feel important and loved. Even when I was busy with life in general and didn’t pay enough attention, he just waited patiently as if to say, “Don’t worry, I’ll be here for you no matter what…” And he was. Joey enriched my life in ways that I don’t think I will ever be able to put into words. And yet all he asked for in return was some food, water, and a good belly rub now and then. How many people can we say that about? It’s funny…I’ve always said that people need to take after dogs more. They are honest, loyal, kind, loving, non-judgmental…without even trying! Shouldn’t we strive to be more like them?

When Joey died I could not stop crying. Most non-dog people couldn’t understand. It was like losing a part of myself. Who was I going to share my deepest secrets with now that he was gone? I couldn’t imagine letting his death go by without some kind of memorial. He had done so much for me without asking anything in return. So, in celebration of his life, I held a memorial service for Joey at home. The service was attended by my family and a few very close friends. We all gathered at Joey’s favourite spot (my pillow on my bed). During the service we all cried…and laughed at the same time when I reminisced about some of Joey’s past antics – always hiding in the cupboards, and shivering uncontrollably whenever it was cold. I was so happy that I decided to do this for Joey. But part of the reason I held this memorial was purely selfish…I needed a way to help ease the pain I was feeling. Looking around and seeing all the sad faces made me feel less alone. They all loved Joey too and felt his loss…maybe not as deeply as I did, but they felt it just the same.

If you’re feeling the loss of a beloved pet, know that you are not alone. Don’t be embarrassed by your feelings of deep grief, for it is only natural when one has lost a member of their family. And for many of us our dogs are truly members of our families. They are, in fact, so much more than JUST a dog”…

“He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.” – Author Unknown